I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
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