Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
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Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
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You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
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