He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
you have to choose: penises or morals?
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize