were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
Randomize
