He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
oh god was she eating orange peels again
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
Randomize
