Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Randomize
