lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
Randomize
