I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
Randomize
