if i get killed by an online date, its your job to tell my parents that we met at church
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
Enjoy the penises
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
Randomize
