In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
Randomize
