CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
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