He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
It’s bad enough my brother slept with half of the sorority this year, but now he’s lifeguarding at the club and every divorcée and cougar in town is asking me for his number. My twin is a manwhore and I’ve become his pimp.
Randomize
