Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Randomize
