i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
Randomize
