Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
I need water and some morals
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
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