No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
I have surprise drugs for everyone
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
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