On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
Randomize
