Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
