she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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