I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
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