she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Randomize
