drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
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