what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
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