So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
Randomize
