when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
should my penis look like a turkey
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
this hospital has no fireball
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
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