So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
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The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
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Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
I think I just shit out all my problems.
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
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