I accidentally burped into my bong.
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
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