did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
Tinder date just called. I was supposed to be there 30 minutes ago but I'm on a 27 game win streak in Park...?
Fuck that man! Tell her your dog died or something. Reschedule that shit, you can't stop 2K at a time like that. Ball is life bro... Priorities.
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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