She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
Randomize
