You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
This house was built for laser tag.
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
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drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
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I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
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