I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
I need to keep a secret stash of instant alcoholic margaritas for when i deal with people. For example, right now, im grading, and I just don't fucking care any more. My students should make a thank you card for Jose Cuervo.
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
Randomize
