OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
