Why did I cab home last night?
Because you said you were drunk, sad, and someone called you a hooker.
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
Randomize
