the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
Randomize
