That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
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