Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize