At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's a Shit stain on my heart
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize