The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize
