What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
Randomize
