guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
Randomize
