Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
Randomize
