Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
Randomize
