He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
