I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
Randomize