your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
I don't deserve a penis
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
Randomize