I'm laying in your front yard are you home
Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
Randomize
