At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
Never joke about your clitoris.
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
Randomize
