It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
Randomize
