Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
Randomize
