Fuck u you updated twitter but didn't answer my text
I know you're alive
Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
