drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
Randomize