I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize
