her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
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