Nicole vs. Life
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
Randomize
