My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
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