No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize