You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
Randomize
