if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
Randomize
