To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
And I swear to god I'll divorce you if you so much as say a single sentence in Yoda talk in our bedroom. I may be a nerd but that's just fucking creepy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
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