and next time when you feel me up, do it right
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
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