I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
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