I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
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