You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
pray to the hookup gods
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
