i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
Randomize
